We can learn to love again
by TheThirdKruger
Summary: Love can be difficult but even when everything it seems insuperable if there is a reason it's possible to move on and find a way together.


New year, almost everything is new, but this writer here posting a commemorative date one-shot, is still the same! I think some things never change, huh? (btw, I have a Christmas' Pattian one-shot to post, I promise I'll post soon as possible.) So as even on New Years Eve I can't stop thinking about Blindspot, the idea came from some romantic songs + my wish (and theory) that Kurt isn't really guilty - at least not totally - for Avery's death + my love for Roman and wish to see the love he feels for his sister being explored.

Anyway, I hope you guys like and send the suggestion to Martin Gero so he can reduce the suffering for Jeller, hahahah I'm kidding. ❥

* * *

We were camping. We had been married for about 3 months when we decided to travel on a weekend. It was sudden, we decided on a Friday's afternoon and by night we were already on the road. The weather was nice so we didn't take many things. However, the weather in the mountains change suddenly and of course, we were caught off guard. I that remember our jaws shaking as all we could do was laugh and despite that, we were so happy just because we were together that even this didn't screw up our adventure. In our not very comfortable sleeping bag, we had a wonderful night while the cold wind hissed outside.

Suddenly, a white wind cleans the scene and in the blink of an eye, I'm in a dark place. I can't see anything. Then I hear a loud cry. I turn around looking for what could have done that sound but I don't see anything. A few moments later, another scream. This second sounds more heartbreaking as if something had been taken from the person and he couldn't do anything. Then a third cry takes my ears, deafening. And then I recognize the source of this third cry. _It's me._ In the distance, I can see the figure of a man on his knees. Kurt. The cries return to my ears and then I shrink, hugging myself in an attempt to placate the chill that takes over me.

I wake jumping off the bed, leaving the screams behind.

 _Another dream._

Lately, they have been frequent attacking me hard where it hurts the most: in memories and in the causes of my pain.

I walk out of bed sleepy and still under the drink's influence. _8:15 p.m._ I've never been to drink but lately it's the only thing that can keep me warm in the cold that makes me shiver internally since the truth about Berlin was dropped over me.

On the bedside table rests the portrait door contained the picture of our adventure in the mountains. _The same as I had dreamed._ We were hugged and Kurt hug me in his arms and in his love. I look to the photo for a moment seeing that moment where our hearts were not broken and time was frozen forever, wishing that we could back to that moment when all the Berlin's bomb hadn't fallen over me last week.

My stomach cries out for something solid just as I'm on my way to the kitchen, making an envelope on the floor almost go unnoticed.

No sender, just written _"Happy New Year!_ in a handwriting that I would recognize anywhere.

I open the envelope fearing its contents since the last one had been the beginning of this whole situation. Inside there's a flight ticket in my name. _Colorado. 12/31/2017. 9:00 p.m._ On the back up to the information about the ticket there was a small yellow post-it: _"It wasn't his fault."_

I sit on the floor fearing that it fall again under my feets. I close my eyes leaving the tears that had already formed in my eyes roll down my face and I cry for a few moments. 2, 5 r 10 minutes, I can't say for sure. _It wasn't his fault._ My world had also collapsed for a few words a few weeks ago. Kurt's voice saying _"I killed your daughter"_ still echoed in my head and in my dreams. Now my world seemed to have hope also for 4 words. My fingers close around the envelope and the flight tickets my heart beats faster just by the possibility that there's hope for us.

 _"It wasn't his fault."_

My cell phone rings taking me out of the whirlwind that was my mind.

"You'll be late for check-in." Roman's voice sounds on the other side.

"What do you intend playing with our lives like that?" I ask with my feelings under the skin.

"You'll understand soon." He replies. "But right now I'm trying to fix what I indirectly screwed up."

"What…" I start to speak but he quickly interrupts me.

" _It was an accident."_ He says a little lower, briefly putting aside the hard mask he wore. " _A fatality."_

"What do you mean?" I ask desperately for answers.

"Go to find him."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because you're still my sister." He replies after a few seconds, struggled with the feelings inside him. "And because if you keep drinking as much as you drinking you're going to get into an alcoholic coma and we still have a job to do with the tattoos."

I look at the practically empty whiskey bottle on the coffee table. The second one that had been opened today. I smiled leaving some tears fall for the way that he might not even realize but expressed his love for me, even if he denied it at all costs if anyone insinuated such a thing.

"Happy New Year, Roman."

"Happy New Year, Jane."

And then the line is mute and I'm left with my thoughts and my heart beating fast full of hope and love.

 _ **11:47h**_

"Jane, what are you doing here?" Kurt whispers from the building closing the door behind him.

"I need a reason," I say without worrying about the tears that began to fall as soon as I had seen him. "We just need a reason to move on."

"Jane, I…"

"We can learn to move on again, to love again because…" my voice falters as I wipe away a few tears. " _It wasn't your fault,_ Kurt."

"What?" He murmurs confusing frowning his eyebrows. I lift the envelope showing Roman's well-known calligraphy. "Roman."

I can see a few tears in the corner of his eyes. I take a few steps closer to him which only makes the tears increase.

"There are still chances, not only because of this but because…" I say lowering the envelope I held. "I still love you Kurt and if you still love me, we can find a way, together…"

"I'll always love you, Jane." Kurt interrupts me as he closes the distance between us and takes me in his arms, hugging me tightly against his body. I reciprocate the embrace wetting his shirt with my tears that had now been replaced by happiness and hope.

In a thoughtless and impulsive gesture, our hands intertwine and Kurt lifts them, leaving a lovely kiss on my hand. I up my head to look at him and in his eyes I see the same certainty that was in mine: we could find a way for us again even after everything that had happened.

Suddenly the New Year's fireworks explode in the sky above us announcing the New Year. We whisper to each other "Happy New Year", watching the fireworks illuminate the city feeling that now our hearts were illuminated by the hope and possibility to beat together again.


End file.
